Surely we’ve all fantasised about being chauffeured like a VIP ? Arriving in style to the office, social event or just the footie. We’ve got to the car in every detail – choosing the Beamer, Jag or Mercedes of our dreams. But who’s doing the driving?
Here at Field Chauffeur Services we name our fantasy chauffeurs:
5. Stephen Fry
He drives a London Black Cab so you can rest assured he’ll be able to get you from A to Villa Park without any crashes, bashes or wrong turns. And what a journey. It will be like travelling with a living encyclopaedia. QI just doesn’t cover it. Need to know about art, technology, travel, books, prison or public schools, Stephen’s your man – all delivered with charm and a winning wit that will have you fooled into thinking he’s your lifelong pal not just your employee!
4. Pamela Anderson
OK, there are probably better looking women and probably better drivers but we can barely type whilst thinking of Pam in a figure hugging chauffeurs uniform, topped off with a cap. Imagine Miss A opening the rear passenger door and tipping the wink as you make yourself comfortable for the journey. Perhaps better to leave the missus behind for this trip – she’ll only get board. Apparently Pamela Anderson can’t drive. Well (as they say) nobody’s perfect.
3. Sebastian Vettel
There are lots of F1 drivers we could choose from but Sebastian seemed the best choice. After all in his current form he needs all the practice he needs and he has been World Champion four times so he can certainly get you out of the bottleneck on the M6 without too much of a problem. We like the idea of being driven around by an efficient German and still telling them what to do, too. Is that wrong of us? Plus Sebastian is the perfect chauffeur name.
2. David Cameron
Do we really need to tell you the reasons? He went to Eton. He’s been driving us around for four years now. He probably hasn’t driven a car since… he went to Eton. He knows the rich and famous (see below). If he starts talking politics we can always roll up the glass partition or make like its Prime Ministers Questions.
1. Jeremy Clarkson
Yes, he’s a knob of the first order. Yes, he’s had more lives than a cloned cat. True, he dresses like an embarrassment but there is something about cars and Clarkson that is pretty irresistible. He’ll certainly know how to handle the car, he’ll certainly attract lots of attention and you’ll probably be in line for some more Burma-style adventure so take a change of underwear and perhaps some ear plugs for when his conversation about all things Clarkson becomes a bore.
We can offer the perfect corporate chauffeur service but not any of the above drivers unfortunately. Do you have a fantasy driver? Then let us know.